I'm pretty sure no one reads this anymore, but I like to review things, and this is the best place to do it.

TMNT

Let me start off by saying that this movie really exists for two groups of people: older Turtles fans and young children who will hopefully soon be Turtles fans. And for those two groups, I think it succeeds wonderfully. In fact, the only two real problems I can think of are the fact it doesn't have the Shredder and that they used the abbreviation as the official title. So basically, yeah, it's a kid's movie, but it's a ridiculously well-made kid's movie. It's pretty refreshing to see this much effort put into this kind of movie. The animation is simply superb. Probably in the top five best animation I've ever seen. The voice-work is also excellent, with such stars as Patrick Stewart and Lawrence Fishbourne. Mako made for the best Splinter ever. While I had my doubts about James Arnold Taylor playing Leonardo, he did a good job. Sure, he was no Cam Clarke, but hey, who is? The story is nothing to write home about, but it served its purpose. The dialogue was really well-written. Even the really cheesy jokes were often actually funny, and mostly excusable because it was always Michelangelo saying them. And the fight scenes were ridiculously well chorographed. The Ninja Turtles have never been more ninja-like. The only thing I would change about the movie is a few more recognizable characters from the comics and cartoons, but it did have the Turtles, Splinter, April, Casey Jones, and the Foot Clan, so it was still cool. The end alluded to a sequel, and I can't wait.

CONCLUSION: 9/10 I've had part of the old cartoon theme song stuck in my head since I saw it, but I think I've combined two different theme songs, because in my head, when the evil Shredder attacks, Scooby eats a Scooby-Snack....

Blah blah blah reviews blah blah.

300

Let me start off byt saying this to all my male readers: if you do not like this movie, you are not a man. I'm sure there have been at least one or two movies that have been more manly than this one, but I sure as hell can't think of them. The people at the theaters probably have to handle the film with gloves because it's dripping with testosterone. That being said, this movie really was magnificant. I probably throw words like that around alot, because, let's face it, I exagerate alot. But this really was one of the best movies I think I have ever seen. Visually, it was a masterpiece. The cinematography was incredible; I felt like every single frame had a purpose and was carefully thought out. The visual effects were simply breath-taking. The sounds were also incredible. The war-cries echoed through the theater, and the music was well chosen. Most importantly, the movie was just plain moving. I don't know how much the legends accurately depict the Spartan attitude and beliefs, but if they are correct, then very few people in all of history had a better death than the 300. They died in battle, serving not only their city, but probably all of Western Civilization to come, and they are remembered even to this day. The writing, most of it write out of Frank Miller's comics, really helped to drive that point home. The movie was very faithful to the comic, and surprisingly accurate historically. As another review I read said, despite having so many aspects so incredibly unrealistic, this movie works better than others such as Alexander or Troy because of it. It is so stylized that you can suspend your disbelief in order to accept the idea that the Persians fought on war-rhinos and were mostly mutated freaks.


CONCLUSION: 10/10 Go tell the Spartans, passerby, that here, by Spartan law, we lie.